Big Changes, Bigger Blessings

Tonight I rocked McKinley to sleep.
Yes, he's two - nearly two and a half. I don't care. Not long after McKinley was born a family friend told me about how she always rocked her boys to sleep until they were probably 'too old' to be doing it. She told me how she never has regretted it because those are times you just don't get back. It was then that I decided to throw all that stuff I was reading about how "if you do that you'll pay for it later" out the window and do what Cary and I loved and what we felt our baby needed. So, Cary and I rocked McKinley to sleep as often as we could. Soon, he wouldn't have it - hahahaha - he requested to "Go lay down in bed?", so we complied. I had not rocked him to sleep in FOREVER and I don't know if I'll have another opportunity, or if McKinley will be just tired enough to give in and lay his precious head on my shoulder, so why not? Matter of fact, this was probably the last time I will rock my son to sleep as a Stay-at-home-Mom.
The title of my post is "Big Changes, Bigger Blessings", appropriate for the week of Thanksgiving, even more so of my life right now. I feel beyond blessed that God has given Cary and I this amazing little boy, even more blessed that we have had the opportunity to have me stay at home with him thus far. Now, I've been blessed again by getting a job in this less-than-desirable economy with a company who is so family oriented and understanding. A company that allows me to still be home with my son more than most working mothers. I'm scared to work outside of our home for the first time in 4 1/2 years (I have changed so very much since then!), I'm eager to bring home a side dish to Cary's bacon, if you will. And I am pumped to be doing something for a company who's main goal is to help families stay in touch and grounded---much less the opportunity to see my full potential in a 'real' career job and do something for myself. I'm also a little sad...okay, um...maybe a lot sad. Change is always different and I'm happy to see where this change takes us, but it is a role change. That is what is sad to me.
It's been an amazing run, this housewife turned stay-at-home-mom thing. One that has left me stronger, braver, and more knowledgeable than any degree will ever give me. I've also learned to never ever again discount the role of ANY stay-at-home-mom. I'll be the first to admit that I NEVER thought it was a credible job. I stand thoroughly corrected - AND THEN SOME! Truth be told, putting that beloved title (SAHM) on my resume was exactly what caught the attention of this company. The company's recruiter actually told me that in 15 years in Human Resources she had never ever seen SAHM as a job title with job descriptions, and most certainly never known anyone ballsy enough to put it in the current job position! Guess I'm ballsy...
This role in life has led me down a path of getting to know what it's like to have your heart walking around outside of your body (that's our son...). I believe McKinley has had this amazing effect on my life (and Cary's too, no doubt) and he and Cary both continue to amaze me every day. I literally thank God for blessing me with Cary and McKinley, and I consider it a wonderful privilege to be wife and mother for, respectively.
I'm so thankful for this family we've grown, and I'm thankful for finally understanding and truly appreciating the rest of my family too! Maybe it's little things like rocking your son to sleep that put something so monumental into perspective, or maybe I over-analyze the beegeezus out of everything...or both? I don't know, but I do know that wherever this next road takes me it's gonna be a good ride.
I'm going to miss the flexibility of our days and simple things like spending an entire day in your P.J.'s (just did that last week!), but I have so much to add to my resume now. Plus, I can still go to Wee Read, schedule play dates galore, AND play a mean air guitar -ugly guitar face and all - to John Mayer with McKinley & Daddy. Most of all, nothing can or will ever teach me as much as the last 4 1/2 years has taught me! That's life experience...and then some!

Thank you, McKinley, for letting me be your stay-at-home-mommy. I've enjoyed every second!

Love,
Mommy