Well, first of all...can it be that it has truly been over a month since I've updated this thing?! OMG. It's been busy, let's just leave it at that. I have so many pictures to post...vacation in Myrtle Beach, my first Mother's Day, McKinley's 9 mo. shots (even though he'll be 11 months!) and general updates, and the crazy amount of things going on in our lives!Before I do that...I feel like taking a little time and reflecting on what's about to happen to me tomorrow. I'll officially be entering a new decade. A decade I've often heard referred to as the 'grown up' decade. No more twenty-something...now I'm gonna be THIRTY-something! Crazy how my life is flying by.
I'm excited about this new 'page', if you will. A while back, someone very wise told me that I have to look at each new happening in my life as a page in my book. At the time she told me this I was doing all I could to cope and just get up every day and figure out how to be, during my grief of losing Dad. Now, I can look at that statement as a very positive thing.
You see, there have been some really great 'pages', and there have been some really crappy 'pages' too. I do believe the great ones far out number the crappy ones. lol God willing, may it always be that way.
At the top of this blog, just above our family picture is my favorite quote. I found this quote during that dark time of grief and I again pulled from it in my daily life. Now, I look at it also in a very different way and feel it best describes how I try to look at life every day.
So, here are some of my 'pages' that took my breath away:
Turning 20...whoa, that was big time. I totally tried to wish a year of my life away just to be 'legal'. Hmmm, now that I look back on that I'm sure glad I couldn't fulfill that wish. If I'd lost #20, I would never have met Cary. So, that's my first really great page of my 20's.
CARY.
Nuff said! ;-)
Well, he gets many, many pages.
Whew, TWENTY ONE, well, Lordy...that was a pretty GREEN day. I don't mean environmentally 'green', either. Oh well, live and learn...and puke in front of a car-load of police officers as they laugh, right? Chrissy, I know you're laughing, and thanks for capturing those special moments on film. No, I will NOT be posting those on here. Huh.
Another really great page was finding my independance. At around 20, I was really going for it! I was paying my own way through life and working (HARD! FOUR jobs at one point), going to school and just beginning to appreciate the meaning of 'earning'. I felt so proud when I paid for my spring break trips all by myself, or when I would go out with girlfriends and have MY OWN money! It was great.
There for a while, all the pages were good. I was so happy in my relationship with Cary, had good friends, great parents,lots of fun, etc.
...but then it got REALLY good.
Cary proposed.
That's the page in my book that is lit up like freaking Christmas. Matter of fact, that whole year of planning our wedding was PURE joy! The wedding, the big WHITE page, was the highlight of my mid-twenties. Was I really TWENTY SIX then? Whew. Ahh, spring chicken, huh?
Our first year of wedded bliss went a little awry for me on a personal level. I became unhappy in my job (that's an understatement) and my Dad's health grew worse. Cary and I made the decision to do it on one income (SINK's are what we were! Single income, no kids! lol), it was great. I could take some time for myself and focus on my degree. But the darkest pages came in October of that year. My Dad became so ill, things were bad. We buckled down and did everything we could. I even 'moved' with him to Indy during his stay in a hospital there. On December 1st, I lost him and also lost a part of myself. For a long time my pages were dull and dark as I tried to find my way as whomever I was becoming then.
In the midst of all of that, Cary and I decided it was time to think about becoming parents. It just felt right, we needed something positive!
In just less than a year after Dad died, we learned that I was pregnant! It was then that things began to change and the pages got brighter and more purposeful everyday.
On July 13, 2007 I became a mother. That's the page in my book of life that, when you turn to it, the page just glows like the heavens. That's just all I can say. He makes me glow.
I finally got to where I needed to be in this journey through my 20's. I got things figured out that I hadn't been able to for a long time, through the dark stuff, anyway...there's always SOMETHING to figure out. I think I can thank McKinley, Mom, Dad and Cary for helping me figure out what I needed to know!
Now, today is the last page of my twenties...and I'm cool with that, really...I promise. I can hardly wait to see what those thirties will bring in my 'book'.
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